BOSS AND SANTA

Boss asked Santa
“Where were you born?”
Santa
“India”
Boss
“Which part”
Santa
“What which part? ” Whole body was born in India.”

SECRET FOR A HAPPY LIFE

A retired woman walked to her neighbour rocking on a chair
She asked ” You look so HAPPY ,what is the secret of your happy life”
HE replied
“I smoke 3 packs of cigarette a day
drink a case of whiskey a week
eat fatty food and never exercise”
She asked ,”that’s amazing. How old are you?”
He replied,” Twenty Six”

OLD AGE

Somehow we always think we are aging at a slower rate than everyone else, this was true of this older woman who is seeing a doctor for the first time.

She was taken into a room and told to “make herself comfortable.” While reading the doctor’s diploma on the wall, she realizes that she went to high school with him many years ago.
The doctor enters the room; he is very gray, and slightly bent over from old age, and says “hello, how can I help you?”
The woman asks; “Did you attend Roosevelt High School?”
“Yes I did”, the doctor answered.
She asks: “Class of 49?” “Yes I was”, was the answered.
The woman was delighted, and said: “You were in my class!”
The doctor responded: “What did you teach?”

DOCTOR’S BILL

Doctor, you were right when you said you’d have me on my feet and walking in no time.
That’s good John; when did you start walking?
When I got your bill doctor, I had to sell my car to pay it

P-MAIL

Joe was a successful computer programmer and a happy family man. His life was blessed with a loving wife, 2 kids, three cats and a dog. Joe loved taking Rusty the dog for his evening walk and was proud when his son, little Johnny, began asking to go along on Rusty’s evening walks.

Little Johnny was an observant and curious child and one evening asked his father: ‘Daddy, why does Rusty always sniff that phone pole when we take him for his walk?’

Well, Joe wasn’t sure how he should answer his son. How DOES one explain the way animals mark their territory to a 6-year-old?

Stalling for time Joe asked, “What do you think he’s doing Johnny?”

Johnny frowned in concentration, then brightened and said, “I know! I Know! He’s checking his P-Mail!”

WISDOM COMES WITH AGE

Bob, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm. She hangs on Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all envious. They corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?”

Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!”

They’re knocked over, but continue to ask. “So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?”

Bob says, “I lied about my age.”

His friends are fascinated, “What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?”

Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”