Hu Ha Hi

A group of Americans was touring Ireland…

Admin — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 11:13:05 +0000

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in
the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The
bus seats are uncomfortable.The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s
too cold. The accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.
“Good luck will be followin’ ya all your days if you kiss the
Blarney Stone,”the guide said. “Unfortunately, it’s being
cleaned today and so no one willbe able to kiss it. Perhaps we
can come back tomorrow.”

“We can’t be here tomorrow,” the nasty woman shouted. “We
have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can’t kiss
the stupid stone.”

“Well now,” the guide said, “it is said that if you kiss someone
who has kissed the stone, you’ll have the same good fortune.”

“And I suppose you’ve kissed the stone,” the woman scoffed.

“No, ma’am,” the frustrated guide said, “but I’ve sat on it.”

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down…

Admin — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 10:45:29 +0000

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street
with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously
drunk.”

Our wasted friend asked, “Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I’m
drunk?”

Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, “Thank goodness, I
thought I was a cripple.”

Two drunks walk into a bar…

Admin — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 10:45:04 +0000

Two drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his

buddy and says “I gotta go use the can.” So he wonders off

to the bathroom and is gone for 5 … 10… 20 minutes. Well

his friend gets pissed off and goes in to get him.

He finds him in there and asks “What the hell are you doing?” The

first drunk repies “Everytime I flush, something reaches up

and grabs my balls.” The second drunk looks at him and says

“Well ya dumbass, you sittin on the mop bucket”

A drunk leaves a bar and decides to take a shortcut…

Admin — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 10:44:28 +0000

through a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunk
fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to
climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned
the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He
gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there.
A while later, another drunk leaves the same bar and
decides to take the same shortcut through the graveyard. He,
too, falls into that open grave and tries to climb out but
the mud is too slippery. The first drunk is still sitting
there and watches as the other drunk tries but fails to get
out.
The first drunk stands up, taps the second drunk on the
shoulder and tells him, “You’ll never get out!”.
He did.

A somewhat drunk man feels a…

Admin — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 10:42:46 +0000

A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man’s head and says,
“Say, your head feels just like my wife’s ass.”

The bald man feels his own head and says with a grin,
“You know, you’re right!”