Category Archives: Work/Office Jokes - Page 3

NEW EMPLOYE

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office.

“What is the meaning of this?” the director asked.

“When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.”

“Well, the young man replied, “in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.”

SPEECH

An executive was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech.

When the executive returned from the big event, he was furious.

“Why did you write me an hour-long speech?” he demanded to know. “Half the audience walked out before I finished.”

The employee was baffled.

“I wrote you a 20-minute speech,” he replied. “I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for.”

PADDY AND GOD

Paddy sat in the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, “Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey.”

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, I found one.”

PURE BUSINESS

Dad: “I Want you to marry a girl of my choice.”

Son: “No.”

Dad: “But the girl is bill Gates` daughter.”

Son: “Ok, I am ready to marry.”

Dad Goes to Bill Gates.

Dad: “I want your daughter to marry my son.”

Bill Gates: “No”

Dad: “My son is the CEO of The World Bank.”

Bill Gates: “Then Ok”

Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.

Dad: “Appoint my Son as the CEO of your Bank.”

President: “No!”

Dad: “He is Son-In-Law of Bill Gates.”

President: “Then Ok!”

This is called Pure Business.

Interview

Interviewer: There are 50 bricks on an aeroplane.

If u drop 1 outside. How many are left?

Applicant: That’s easy, 49.

Interviewer: What are the three steps to put an elephant into a fridge?

Applicant: Open the fridge.
Put the elephant in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?

Applicant: Open the fridge.
Take the elephant out.
Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.

Interviewer: It’s lion’s birthday, all animals are there except one, why?

Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.

Interviewer: How does an old woman cross a swamp filled with crocodiles?

Applicant: She just crosses it because the crocodiles are at the lion’s birthday.

Interviewer: Last question.
In the end the old lady still died. Why?

Applicant: Er….I guess she drowned?

Interviewer: No! She was hit by the brick fallen frm the aeroplane. You may leave now :@

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