Category Archives: War/Military Jokes

A 3 DAY PASS

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says, “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that recognition!”

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked, “How did you do it?”

“Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs.
I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank.
I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up.
I said to the Arab soldier, ‘Do you want to get a three-day pass?’ So we exchanged tanks!”

MOUTH CLOSED

A gentleman travelled all the way from Islamabad to Karachi to have an aching tooth taken out.

The Karachi dentist said, “Surely you have dentist in Islamabad! You did not have to come all this way to have your teeth attended to.”

“We have no choice. In Islamabad we are not allowed to open our mouths,” replied the man with the aching tooth.

COURAGEOUS CAPTAIN

Spanish captain was walking on his ship…

A soldier rushes to him and says, “One enemy ship is approaching us!”

Captain replies calmly, “Go get my red shirt”

The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in, heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win.

Soldier asks, “Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?”

Captain replies, “If I got injured, then my blood shouldn’t be seen, as I didn’t want my men to loose hope.”
(Moral: For success, hope is very important)

Just then, another soldier, “Sir, we just spotted another TWENTY enemy ships!”

The captain calmly replies, “Go bring my yellow pants.”

The company sergent is briefing the recruits…

The company sergent is briefing the recruits:

“For the next ten weeks the commanding officer will be your father, and I
will be your mother. Incidentally we are not married, so you know what that
makes you…”

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To escape an oppressive military regime.

Good sales strategy

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised
new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI
insurance.

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