Category Archives: Sardar Santa/Banta - Page 3

COMPLIMENTARY

A guy goes into the bar and sits down and orders a drink. Other than the bartender, there’s no one else in the place.

All of a sudden he hears a voice say, ‘Nice suit.’

He looks around and doesn’t see anyone and the bartender looks busy washing some glasses.

A little while later the same voice says, ‘Nice tie.’

The guy looks around again and doesn’t see anyone. He finally asks the bartender if he just said something.

‘No,’ replied the bartender, “it wasn’t me. It was probably the peanuts though. They’re complimentary.’

SANTA AND BOTTLE

Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

DISAPEARING WIFE

Santa left work early one Friday, but instead of going home, he spent the weekend partying with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife, Jeeto, really got on his case and stayed on it.

After a few of hours of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for a couple of days?”

The husband couldn’t believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and said, “That would suit me just fine!!”

Monday went by, and the man didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn’t see her.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

CONSTIPATION

A doctor prescribed suppositories to Santa suffering from constipation but a week later he returned to the doctor and complained that the treatment wasn’t working.

“Have you been taking them regularly?” asked the doctor.

“What do you think I’ve been doing?” snapped Santa. “Shoving them up my ass?”

NEW CHAUFFEUR

Santa hired a new chauffeur.

Jeeto asked the chauffer to take her out for shopping and was very shaken by the experience.

Back home, she pleaded with Santa, “Please dear, you must sack this new chauffeur at once. He is so rash he nearly killed me three times this morning.”

“Darling, don’t be so hasty,” replied Santa, “give him another chance

Jockey

Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”
His second friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.”
Santa says, “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. “No I’m serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.”