Category Archives: Sardar Santa/Banta

ADDING IT UP

Jeeto brought a whole range of COSMETICS
After 5 hours of applying she asked Santa
“Tell me what age do you think I look?”
SANTA replied,” From your hair 15,
from your skin 16′
from your figure 18″
“Oh you Flatterer” ,she said
“Wait a minute” he said
“I haven’t ADDED up them yet”

BOSS AND SANTA

Boss asked Santa
“Where were you born?”
Santa
“India”
Boss
“Which part”
Santa
“What which part? ” Whole body was born in India.”

SLIPPING LION

Santa came back from a safari in Africa. Upon arrival, he went to his friend Banta, and told him of his adventures.

“I was out in the jungle,” he said, “when all of a sudden I heard a noise in the bush behind me. Looking back, I saw a huge lion, licking his chops, and smiling at me. The lion started coming my way and I started running, with the lion not far behind. When the lion was almost at my neck, he suddenly slipped, and I got ahead a bit.

“The lion started gaining on me, and as he got closer, once again he slipped. I happened to see a house not far away, and made towards it.

As I got close to the house, the lion was almost on top of me, when he slipped for a third time. With the very last bit of strength, I ran into the house and closed the door in the lion’s face.”

“Wow! That’s some sorry,” said Banta. “If I’d been in that situation, I would have shit my pants.”

“Well, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE LION KEPT SLIPPING ON…???”

WHO’S PROBLEM?

Banta feared his wife Preeto wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test he could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, Preeto is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and Banta was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let”s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, “Preeto ji, what’s for dinner?”

No response.

Banta moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from Preeto and repeats, “Preeto ji, what’s for dinner?”

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from Preeto and asks, “Preeto ji, what’s for dinner?”

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away, and asks, “Preeto ji, what’s for dinner?”

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her, “Preeto ji, what’s for dinner?”

For God’s sake, Banta ji, for the FIFTH time, “BIRYANI!”

THE LAST HOPE

Santa had just finished collecting the rents from the tenants in his apartment block. But when he got home he realized that his wallet was missing and burst into tears.

“What’s the matter?” asked his wife.

“I’ve lost my wallet containing 25 thousand rupees,” he wailed. “I think I put it in my inside coat pocket, but it’s not there now.”

“Did you look in the pockets of your pants?”

“Yes, but the money isn’t there either.”

“What about the side pocket of your jacket? Did you look there?”

“Of course not!” he snapped. “Do you want me to lose the last bit of hope I have left?”

SANTA AUR LADKI

Santa: Sharab pite pite rone laga
Banta: Kya hua kyo ro rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ki kara jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha tha,uska naam yaad nhi aa raha hai