Category Archives: Political Jokes - Page 2

Cuts both ways!

A Politician was arrested for accepting a bribe from a contractor. A friend who went to visit him in the lock-up asked, “How are you going to get out of this mess?”
The Politician replied calmly, “I got into trouble for accepting a bribe; I`ll get out of it by bribing the person concerned.”

Give the money !

Late one night in Washington, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
“Give me your money!” he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, “You can’t do this. I’m a United States Congressman!”
“In that case,” replied the robber, “give me my money!”

Administratium!

AMES, IA–The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistants vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312.

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California Examiner, March 20, 1998:

Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with a dive tank, flippers, and facemask. A post mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns but from massive internal injuries.

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News From Florida

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him, and the patio door shattered.

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Caffeine Pollution…

Seattle harbor is polluted. Not with crap, but with caffeine. Home to 12 billion Starbucks outlets, Seattle coffee addicts are pissing gallons of caffeine into the local waters at a alarming rate.
In related news, an entire pod of killer whales have checked in to the Betty Ford Clinic, suffering from caffeine addiction