Hu Ha Hi

If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him and getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph.
What shutter speed would you use?

Dear Abby, I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?
“Dear Sam, Yes. Run for public office,” suggested Abby.

A Politician was arrested for accepting a bribe from a contractor. A friend who went to visit him in the lock-up asked, “How are you going to get out of this mess?”
The Politician replied calmly, “I got into trouble for accepting a bribe; I`ll get out of it by bribing the person concerned.”

Late one night in Washington, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
“Give me your money!” he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, “You can’t do this. I’m a United States Congressman!”
“In that case,” replied the robber, “give me my money!”

AMES, IA–The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistants vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312.

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