Category Archives: Political Jokes

FATHER OF THE NATION

God decided to encourage people to have fewer children and introduced an award scheme. During the procedure at one point, he concentrated on learning about the situation in India.

He first met Jawaharlal Nehru in heaven, and asked him how many children he had during his time on earth.

Nehru replied, “Only one!

Happy with the relatively good family planning adopted, God awarded Nehru with a Celestial Rolls Royce!

Indira Gandhi was next, and God asked the same question. She replied she had two children, and God thought, not too bad, so he gave her a BMW.

Dr. Radhakrishnan was next in line. God was not pleased to hear that he had six children, and gave him a Morris-8 as a kind of punishment.

Sometime later, the three (Nehru, Indira and Radhakrishnan) going around in their new cars, saw Mahatma Gandhi on foot!!! Wondering what went wrong; they asked why God hadn’t been merciful with him.

The Mahatma replied in disgust, “God did not even ask me!!! Some idiots had told him that I am the Father of the Nation.”

CONTRACTOR

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.” The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.” The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.” The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?” The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.” “Done!” replies the government official. And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

MINISTERS

An Afghan, upon landing at Islamabad Airport, introduced himself to a Pakistan Immigration Officer, as an Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.

The Pakistani Officer was surprised, and asked, “But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping?

The Afghan replied, You crazy bugger, don’t you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan ?

Lalu Sonia

Lalu-“I Love You” ka kya matlab hota hai?
Sonia-Mein tumhse pyar karti huh
Lalu-Lo kar lo baat angreji mein ek sawaal pucha sasuri fida ho gayi

Quick thought !

If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him and getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph.
What shutter speed would you use?

Truer Words were never spoken !

Dear Abby, I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can’t afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions?
“Dear Sam, Yes. Run for public office,” suggested Abby.