Category Archives: Police/Criminal

DRUNK OR SOBER?

I was stopped by the cops in a control, and one of the officers was convinced that I was drunk. I had to answer some questions, which would determine whether I was under the influence, or sober.

Cop: “If you are driving on a road and see two lights, what is it?” “A car, I think” I replied.

“OK, but is it a Chrysler, GM, or Buick?”

“No clue,” I replied.

“You’re drunk!” he said.

I shook my head slightly, being caught off guard.

“But if you meet one light then!?” he asked.

“Probably a motorcycle,” I replied.

“OK, but is it a Honda, BMW, or a Suzuki?”

“No clue!” I replied.

“You’re drunk!” he said again.

Now I was a little angry, and asked the arrogant officer, a question: “If you see a woman at a corner, with fishnet-stockings, mini-skirt, high-heeled shoes, and lots of makeup, what can it be?”

“Haaa! the cop said,” It is of course a wh*re!”

“Correct…,” I replied. “But is it your wife, daughter or mother?”

They seized my drivers license….

THREATENING MAILS

A worried guy telephoned the FBI and got a special agent on the line.

“What can I do for you, sir,” the special agent asked.

“I’ve been getting threatening letter in the mail,” the guy said. “That’s against the law, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is,” the Government man said. “Do you know who’s been writing them?”

“Yeah,” the guy said. “My girlfriend’s husband

CAUGHT SPEEDING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the lady behind the wheel was knitting.

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yells, “PULL OVER!”

“NO,” she yelled back over the sound of the siren, “It’s a SCARF!”

SON IN LAW

A girl went to introduce the man she wanted to get married to her father.

Father: “So you want to marry my daughter, what do you do for a living?”

Man: “I just got out of prison, I will search for a job soon.”

Father: “Whaaaat! You were in prison and you want to marry my daughter with that bad record, what did you do?”

Man: “I killed a person.”

Father: “What did the person do?”

Man: “He denied me to marry his daughter.”

Father: “Welcome to the family son.”

Police arrested two kids yesterday…

Police arrested two kids yesterday,
one was drinking battery acid,and the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

A new scam

WARNING!

This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men.

What happens is that when you stop for a red light, a young nude woman
comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield. While she is doing
this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car.

They are very good at this.

They got me 7 times Friday and 5 times Saturday. I wasn’t able to find
them on Sunday.