Category Archives: Men Jokes - Page 8

HEARING AID

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.

“How much do they cost?” he asked the clerk.

“That depends,” said the salesman. “They run from $2 to $2,000.”

“Let’s see the $2 model,” he said.

The clerk put the device around the man’s neck, “You just stick this piece of plastic in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket,” he instructed.

“How does it work?” the customer asked.

“For $2, it doesn’t work,” the salesman replied. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder.”

BETTER FREINDS

Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend’s apartment overnight.

The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.

Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So, he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend’s apartment overnight.

The wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!

PADDY AND GOD

Paddy sat in the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place.

Looking up to heaven he said, “Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey.”

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, I found one.”

DRUNK BIKER

A policeman cruising past a pub after closing time notices two motor bikes still parked out the front.

He goes round the back of the pub only to find two bikies, one with his fingers up the bum of the other.

“So what’s going on here?” he asks.

The bikie replies, “My mate here has had too much to drink and I’m trying to make him vomit.”

The cop says, “I think you should be sticking your fingers down his THROAT!”

The bikie replies, “That’s what I’m going to do next!”

WRONG NUMBER

John, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 4:00 a.m. by his ringing telephone.

“Your dog’s barking, and it’s keeping me awake,” said an angry voice.

John thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.

The next morning at precisely 4:00 a.m., John called his neighbour back.

“Good morning, Mr. Williams. I just called to say that I don’t have a dog.”

RACE

Sardar: Aao Race Lagatay hain, Jo haara woh ek hazaar rupay dega.

Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.

Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.

Pathan: Thanks Yara..