With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been
formed called “Marriage Anonymous.” Whenever a guy feels like getting
married, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on her
face and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it.

I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different
cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their own
computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses and
Home Pages. They say they’re doing everything they can to keep their
marriage together.

Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a
divorce on the grounds that her husband “beats her.” The Judge,
wanting every detail asked how often it was he beat the woman.

“Every damn time your Honor,” she sighed, “Every damn time !”

I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won’t give him a
divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a
happy man.

The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to
the Judge that her husband had left her bed and board.

When she had finished, the husband’s lawyer rose to his feet and
coolly replied, “Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the typing
of the charging documents. My client claims that he left her bed
‘bored’.”