Category Archives: Marriage/Relationship - Page 8

EMERGENCY

A man frantically calls the hotel desk from his room on the 11th floor.

“Please come quick I’m having an argument with my wife and she says she’s going to jump out the hotel window.”

The hotel manager replies, “Sir I’m afraid that’s a domestic matter and the hotel and it’s staff are obligated to not interfere.”

The husband responds, “Like hell it’s a domestic matter! This damn window won’t open, and that sir is a hotel maintenance problem

NOSY WIFE

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

“Careful,” he said. “Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! Where are we going to get more butter? They’re going to stick! Careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you’re cooking! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt!”

The wife stared at him, “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”

The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”

SON IN LAW

A girl went to introduce the man she wanted to get married to her father.

Father: “So you want to marry my daughter, what do you do for a living?”

Man: “I just got out of prison, I will search for a job soon.”

Father: “Whaaaat! You were in prison and you want to marry my daughter with that bad record, what did you do?”

Man: “I killed a person.”

Father: “What did the person do?”

Man: “He denied me to marry his daughter.”

Father: “Welcome to the family son.”

NEW CHAUFFEUR

Santa hired a new chauffeur.

Jeeto asked the chauffer to take her out for shopping and was very shaken by the experience.

Back home, she pleaded with Santa, “Please dear, you must sack this new chauffeur at once. He is so rash he nearly killed me three times this morning.”

“Darling, don’t be so hasty,” replied Santa, “give him another chance

BLIND DATE

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend. Her mom wanted to help her, so she set up a blind date for her daughter.

When the girl got back from the date she said, “That was the worst night of my life!”

“Why is that?” her mom asked.

“He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“He’s the original owner mom!”

BAD NEWS

After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date.

Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, “I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.”

“Thank heavens,” his date replied. “If yours hadn’t, mine would have had to!”