Category Archives: Marriage/Relationship - Page 6

OFFICE ROMANCE

The pretty secretary came in late for work the third day in a row.

The boss called her into his office and said, “Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that’s over. I expectyou to conduct yourself like any other employee around here.”

The boss pressed on, “Who told you you could come and go as you please around here ?”

Sharon simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, “My lawyer.”

MISSING WIFE

Man: I lost my wife.

Inspector: What is her height?
Man: I never noticed.

Inspector: Slim or healthy?
Man: Not slim, can be healthy

Inspector: Colour of the eyes?
Man: Never noticed

Inspector: Colour of hair?
Man: Changes according to season.

Inspector: What was she wearing?
Man: Saree/suit. I don’t remember exactly.

Inspector: Was somebody with her???
Man: Yes, my Labrador dog, Romeo, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, brown eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non-veg. food, we eat together, we jog together… And the man started crying….

Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first!!!

MARRIAGE LESSONS

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

“Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?”

Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness –and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single.”

LOVING WIFE

Bill pilled up a stool at his favourite bar and announced, “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!”

“What makes you say that?” the bartender inquired.

“Last week,” Bill explained, “I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman and the post office guy came by, she’d run down the driveway, waving her arms and hollering, ‘My old man’s home! My old man’s home!'”

WEDDING RING

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring.

As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned.

“Tell me,” she asked the elderly salesman, “is there anything special I’ll have to do to take care of this ring?”

With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, “One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day.”

SMART WIFE

Husband: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pajamas!”

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good.

The wife welcomed him and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, “Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill and a few Swordfish. But why didn’t u pack my blue silk pajamas?”

“I did… They’re in your fishing box !!!