Category Archives: Marriage/Relationship - Page 3

SATAN IN CHURCH

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.

Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”

The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

Satan asked, “Aren’t you going to run?”

“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.

Perturbed, Satan asked, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”

The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”

DEAD AGAIN

A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.

They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.

She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.

As they are walking, the husband cries out, “Watch out for the wall!”

ANGELIC SON IN LAW

One mother in law to another, “I heard that both your son and daughter have been married off – how are they?”

“Oh, my daughter in law is really not that good. She sleeps late and expects my son to make the morning coffee. She does not cook, wants my son to take her out to eat more.”

“But my son in law is an angel. He allows my daughter to stay late in bed, even makes bed coffee for her. Insists on taking my daughter out to eat so often. I tell you, I don’t know what to do with my daughter in law

BRAGGING GALFREN

Ruth took her boyfriend Bernie home to meet her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Bloom.

“What do you do for a living?” asked Mr. Bloom.

“I own some property,” replied Bernie.

“Some property!” exclaimed Ruth. “He owns a chain of fast-rising retail stores.”

“And where do you live?” asked Mrs. Bloom.

“I’ve got an apartment in town.”

“An apartment!” cried Ruth. “He has a luxury apartment in the most sought-after block in Manhattan.”

“And what are your prospects?” inquired Mr. Bloom.

“I’m hoping to expand!” said Bernie.

“Expand!” interrupted Ruth. “He’s planning to buy Bloomingdale’s!”

Just then Bernie sneezed.

“Have you got a cold?” asked Mrs. Bloom.

“A cold?” shrieked Ruth. “Bernie’s got pneumonia!”

THE WISH GRANTING FROG

A family is driving in their car on holidays. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out and takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road.

The frog is grateful, thanks the man and tells him that he will grant him a wish.

The man says, “Please make my dog win the next dog race.”

The frog asks to look at the dog, which limps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog only has three legs, it very fat, and can barely move at all so he tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfil his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish.

The man says, “Well, then please make my wife win the next beauty contest in the area. The frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car.

Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.

The frog turns to the man and says, “Could I please have another look at the dog?”

CLEARLY CHEATING

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.

Suddenly, Lorraine died.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”