Category Archives: Marriage/Relationship - Page 2

FORGET ABOUT IT

An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes.

When they get home, the wife says, “Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won’t forget?”

“Nonsense,” says the husband, “I can remember a dish of ice cream.”

“Well,” says the wife, “I’d also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it.”

“My memory’s not all that bad,” says the husband. “No problem — a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don’t need to write it down.”

He goes into the kitchen; his wife hears pots and pans banging around. The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.

She looks at the plate and asks, “Hey, where’s the toast I asked for?”

THREATENING MAILS

A worried guy telephoned the FBI and got a special agent on the line.

“What can I do for you, sir,” the special agent asked.

“I’ve been getting threatening letter in the mail,” the guy said. “That’s against the law, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is,” the Government man said. “Do you know who’s been writing them?”

“Yeah,” the guy said. “My girlfriend’s husband

OLD AGE ROMANCE

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, “You use to hold my hand when we were courting.”

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, “Then you used to kiss me.”

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said, “Then you use to bite my neck.”

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

“Where are you going ?” she asked.

“To get my teeth!”

GENEALOGY

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”

The mother answered, “God made Adam took one of his ribs and made Eve. They lived in the Garden of Eden till a snake gave Eve an apple which she and Adam took a bite from and they were thrown out into the world naked and alone. They had children and so was all mankind made.”

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they evolved from monkeys?”

The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”

WHO’S PROBLEM?

Banta feared his wife Preeto wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test he could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, Preeto is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and Banta was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let”s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, “Preeto ji, what’s for dinner?”

No response.

Banta moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from Preeto and repeats, “Preeto ji, what’s for dinner?”

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from Preeto and asks, “Preeto ji, what’s for dinner?”

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away, and asks, “Preeto ji, what’s for dinner?”

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her, “Preeto ji, what’s for dinner?”

For God’s sake, Banta ji, for the FIFTH time, “BIRYANI!”

45 DIFFERENCE

Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 lbs.

Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.