One prisoner to another: How long are you in this jail ?
Second prisoner: Two weeks.
First prisoner: What was the charge?
Second prisoner: No charge, everything is free.

A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.
The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, “How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?”
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A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
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An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter checks his dossier and says, “You`re an engineer, you`re in the wrong place.”
So the engineer reports to the Gates of Hell and is welcomed.

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A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask.The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.
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