Category Archives: Kids/Baby Jokes - Page 5

REGULAR DAD

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy. “Tommy,” replied the second. “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Billy. Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.” “Honest?” asked Billy. “No, just the regular kind”, replied Tommy.

DIVORCE

Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. “I’m sorry Mickey, but I can’t legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane…” Mickey replied, “I didn’t say she was mentally insane, I said that she’s fucking goofy!”

BIGGEST LIE

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher

Perfect son

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

child talk

Two children are talking.

A: Meet my new born brother.
B: Oh, he is so handsome! What’s his name?
A: I don’t know. I can’t understand a word he says.

When to study?

Usually a student is blamed if she/he fails to secure pass marks. But we, students, sometimes think that it is not the fault of a student if one fails because a year has only 365 days. Sunday – 52 Sundays in a year (they are meant for rest and watching TV) the remaining days are 313. Summer Holidays – 60 days (weather is so hot and it`s difficult to study).

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