Category Archives: Kids/Baby Jokes - Page 2


A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”


A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.

On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Pappu, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.

After seeing this, the teacher asked him, “Pappu, how many times have you see a red duck?”

Young Pappu replied with, “The same number of times I’ve seen a duck holding an umbrella.”


Two babies were lying in a blanket. The 1st baby to the 2nd, “Are you a girl or a boy?”

2nd Baby: I don’t know.

1st Baby: OK wait, I shall go inside the blanket and check.

After sometime, the 1st baby came out and said, “You’re a girl and I am a boy”!

2nd Baby: How did you come to know?

1st Baby: It’s because you’re wearing pink socks and I’m wearing blue.


Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.
Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.


TEACHER: Who is your favorite author?
PUPIL: George Washington.
TEACHER: But George Washington never wrote any books.
PUPIL: You got it.


During one “generation-gap” quarrel with his parents, young Michael cried, “I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I’ll never find it here at home, so I’m leaving. Don’t try and stop me!”

With that, he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind.

“Didn’t you hear what I said? I don’t want you to try and stop me.”

“Who’s trying to stop you?” replied his father. “If you wait a minute, I’ll go with you.”