I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said, ‘No, Six should be enough

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: If they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

I’m so old they’ve cancelled my blood type.
Bob Hope

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two…
Sir Norman Wisdom

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The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Tom Clancy

I never know what I think about something until I read what I’ve written on it.
William Faulkner

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The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
Robert Frost

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse
Dennis Miller

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Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Charlotte Whitton

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.
Lenny Bruce

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