Category Archives: Funny Letters - Page 4

What to Do With All Those “Free” Soaps When Travelling

This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London
hotel’s staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved
submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial.  Please remove
the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
and another three in the shower soap dish.  They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman

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Special High Intensity Teaching

Memo to all students:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
From students, it will be our policy to keep all students well
taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than any
other school. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T.
on the course, please see your lecturer.  You will be immediately placed
at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially skilled
at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

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Retire Aged Personell Early

DATE    22 APR 1986

1.      As a result of the HAYZE mismanagement study, we must
drastically cut most salaries and reduce our number of personnel.
Under this plan, older employees will go on early retirement,
thus permitting management to focus its abuse on younger
employees who represent our future.

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Rejection Letter Reject

Ever wonder what to do when those rejection letters start piling
up?  Well here’s a suggestion:

– – – – – – – – – – – – – Cut Here – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

[Date Today]

Dear Mr. Kennelly:

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Playgirl Rejection Letter

November 30, 1995


Dear Mrs. Smith,

We wish to thank you for your letter and the polaroid picture
of your husband.  We agree that his appearance in our March issue as
the Playgirl’s “Man of the Month” centerfold would have been a truly
fitting way for you to honor your 75th anniversary of wedded bliss,
and as a life-time memento on his birthday.

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BOSTON, MA. 02115




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