Category Archives: Fart Jokes

GASEOUS BABY

A nun was walking in the convent when one of the priests noticed she was gaining a little weight. “Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?” he asked.

“No, Father. Just a little gas,” Sister Susan explained.

A month or so later the priest noticed that she had gained even more weight. “Gaining some weight are we Sister Susan?” he asked again.

“Oh no, Father. Just a little gas,” she replied again.

A couple of months later the priest noticed Sister Susan pushing a baby carriage around the convent. He leaned over and looked in the carriage and said, “Cute little fart.”

SILENT AND ODOURLESS

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much.

“My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.”

The doctor says, “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week.”

The next week the lady comes back.

“Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts… although still silent…stink terribly.”

The doctor says, “Good !!! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”

FART

A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, “Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much.”

The twenty answered, “I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?”

The one dollar bill said, “You know, same old stuff… church, church, church.”

Revenge Is Sweet

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.

Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife’s annoyance.

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Farts With Lumps

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word ” definitely ” in a sentence.

Little Johnny replies, “Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?”

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Farting All The Time

Doctor, “What seems to be the problem?”

Patient, “Doc, I’ve got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,”

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