A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father,
who was a rabbi, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His
father took him into his study and said, “I’ll make a deal with you. You
bring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut and
then we’ll talk about it.”

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My mother is a typical Jewish mother.
Once she was on jury duty. . .
They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

A Jewish guy in a London hotel calls the operator and asks, in broken
English with a heavy Lithuanian-Yiddish accent, for number 266418.
A short time later, someone knocks, and when he opens the door he sees
2 beautiful and sexy girls who asked him:

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Mullah Nasrudin, wisest man in Islam, entered England of a visit.
“Do you have anything to declare?” asked the customs inspector.
“No — sssssst, bzzz – nothing at all.”
“How long do you plan to stay?”

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An airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the
First Officer is Chinese. It’s the first time they’ve flown together and
it’s obvious, by the silence, that they don’t get along.  After thirty
minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: “I don’t like Chinese.”

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