There Is A New Virus. The Code Name Is Work.

If You Receive Work From Your Colleagues, Your Boss, Via E-Mail, Or From
Anyone Else,  Do Not Touch It Under Any Circumstances.

This Virus Wipes Out Your Private Life Completely.

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Thank You To All My Friends Who Sent Me Such Important Emails This Year!
It’s So Wonderful That You Included Me In Your Quest To Inform!

Because Of All Of You I Stopped Drinking Coca-Cola After I Found Out
From You That It’s Good For Removing Toilet Stains And Rusting The
Arse Out Of 40-Gallon Drum.

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An actual mailing:

Greetings,
You have just received the “IRISH VIRUS”.
As we don’t have any programming experience, this virus works on the honor
system.
Please delete all the files on your hard drive manually and forward this
virus to everyone on your mailing list.
Thank you for your cooperation.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules,
limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many
other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable
programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and
HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3
to fix these problems, but to no avail.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a Jewish American Princess with a
computer?

A: A computer that never goes down on you.