A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for
something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting
under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing
away on his typewriter.

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From one of Tom Clancy’s books:
Commanding officer:  “Alright! How about an attitude check???”
Crew (In Unison): “I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE!”

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The Cat in the Hat is a hard-hitting novel of prose and poetry
in which the author re-examines the dynamic rhyming schemes and
bold imagery of some of his earlier works, most notably Green
Eggs and Ham, If I Ran the Zoo, and Why Can’t I Shower With
Mommy?  In this novel, Theodore Geisel, writing under the
pseudonym Dr. Seuss, pays homage to the great Dr. Sigmund Freud
in a nightmarish fantasy of a renegade feline helping two young
children understand their own frustrated sexuality.

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Best Analogies Ever Written

Originally from a

Washintgon Post Contest

Winners of the “worst analogies ever written in a high school essay”
contest.  (Actually most of them are similes –but… whatever)

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like
a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without
one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the
country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at
a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
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