Category Archives: Bar/Drunk Jokes - Page 9

And the bill?

A drunk walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.”
So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill.
The drunk says, “I haven`t got it.”
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A Cowboy Rode Into Town And Stopped At A Saloon For A Drink. Unfortunately, The Locals Always Had A Habit Of Picking On Strangers, Which He Was. When He Finished His Drink, He Found His Horse Had Been Stolen. He Goes Back Into The Bar, Handily Flips His Gun Into The Air, Catches It Above His Head Without Even Looking And Fires A Shot Into The Ceiling.
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Who quits?

Every afternoon this guy goes into the bar and orders 4 shots of scotch at the same time, then proceeds to drink them all. One day the bartender asks him why he orders all 4 at once and the guy replies that he has 3 brothers who do the same thing every day at the same time so that they can all have a drink together no matter where they are.

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Dead drunk!

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he’s stopped by a police officer.
Officer: “Good evening sir. We’re testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?”
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Drunk Nawab!

Nawab sahab has been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally says that the bar is closed. So he stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He figures he`ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face.

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Bar timings…

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunken guy asking what time the bar opens.
“It opens at noon,” answers the clerk.
About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.
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