Category Archives: Bar/Drunk Jokes - Page 6

Out of the Greek Myths

The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek
god of wine, had thrown a party for a pair of visiting Roman
deities — Ceres, the goddess of agriculture, and Janus, the two-
faced god of doors and beginnings.

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One day, a Smartie and a Polo were having a drink in the pub…

One day, a Smartie and a Polo were having a drink in the pub.

Suddenly the pub door swings open and in walks a Humbug.

?Fuck me? shouts Polo, and immediately dives under the table.

?What the fuck are you doing that for?? says Smartie.

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A pizza was waiting in the stomach to be digested…

then suddenly a whiskey came along. Pizza thought:”Ok.
I’ll let him pass, there’s no hurry. Two minutes later
another whiskey comes by and pizza let him pass too, but
two minutes later when the next one got there, pizza stoped
him:”What’s going on out there?” it asked. “Why, there’s a
party going on!! It’s great! They’re having the most fun!!”
the whiskey replied.
And pizza said: “Great, I’ll go check it out!”

The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test…

The modest man is in the hospital for a series of test. One of the last
test has left his system upset.  Upon making several false alarms to the
bathroom he decided the latest was another.

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A man in a state of excessive inebriation…

A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a
fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary
money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a
turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the
public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun.

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I cannot find a cause for your illness…

“I can’t find a cause for your illness,” the doctor said. “Frankly,
I think it’s due to drinking.”

“In that case,” replied his blonde patient, “I’ll come back when
you are sober.”