Hu Ha Hi

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street
with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously
drunk.”

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Two drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his

buddy and says “I gotta go use the can.” So he wonders off

to the bathroom and is gone for 5 … 10… 20 minutes. Well

his friend gets pissed off and goes in to get him.

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 through a graveyard. It is raining heavily and very dark. The drunk
fails to see an open grave and falls into it. He tries to
climb out of it, but it is too deep and the rain has turned
the dirt to mud and has made it too slippery to climb. He
gives up after a while and decides to spend the night there.
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A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man’s head and says,
“Say, your head feels just like my wife’s ass.”

The bald man feels his own head and says with a grin,
“You know, you’re right!”

There was a drunk man walking down the street turning
his car keys back and forth.
A policeman came up to him and asked, “Sir, what are you doing?”
The drunk replied, “I am looking for my car, the last time I saw
it, it was on the end of these keys.”
The police officer said, “Sir, do you know your zipper is down?”
The drunk replied, “Shit, I lost my wife, too!”