1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.

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1) You only get laid once.
2) You only get eaten once.
3) It takes you seven min. to get hard in boiling water.
4) You have to come in a box with 11 other guys.
5) The only one that ever sits on your face is your mother.

As you may know, the Albuquerque housing market is becoming
as tight as the one in Denver. My friend Chuck, after searching for
months, found the perfect place. Family neighborhood, garden/lawn,
etc. The problem was, he has a dog, and the landlord specified “No
dogs.” Rather than go on searching, he decided to go stealth, and not
tell the landlord about his dog (a golden retriever).All went well for
months. Except for one thing: the family that lived downstairs had a
rabbit that they kept in a cage in the garden area. One day, the
father of the family walked into the garden to find the dog scratching
at the cage, trying to get at the rabbit.
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Fast food.

A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day
by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

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