Category Archives: Animal Jokes

P-MAIL

Joe was a successful computer programmer and a happy family man. His life was blessed with a loving wife, 2 kids, three cats and a dog. Joe loved taking Rusty the dog for his evening walk and was proud when his son, little Johnny, began asking to go along on Rusty’s evening walks.

Little Johnny was an observant and curious child and one evening asked his father: ‘Daddy, why does Rusty always sniff that phone pole when we take him for his walk?’

Well, Joe wasn’t sure how he should answer his son. How DOES one explain the way animals mark their territory to a 6-year-old?

Stalling for time Joe asked, “What do you think he’s doing Johnny?”

Johnny frowned in concentration, then brightened and said, “I know! I Know! He’s checking his P-Mail!”

DUCK HUNTING

Five doctors went to on a duck hunt:
a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon, and a pathologist.
After a while a bird came winging overhead,
The GP raised his shogun but didn’t shoot because he wasn’t sure if it was a duck or not.
The pediatrician also raised his gun, but then he wasn’t sure if it was a male or female duck, so he didn’t shoot.
The psychiatrist raised his gun and then thought, I know that’s a duck, but does the duck know it’s a duck?”
The surgeon was the only one who shot. Boom!! He blew it away.
Then he turned to the pathologist and said, “Go see if that was a duck.”

EXPERIENCE COUNTS

A man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed to three identical birds lined up on the perch.

”How much is the one on the left?” asked the customer.

”Five hundred dollars,” said the shop owner.

”Why is it so expensive?”

”Because it knows how to do legal research.”

”What about the one in the middle? How much is that?”

”One thousand dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to write a brief that will win any case.”

”And how much is the third parrot?”

”Five thousands dollars.”

”What can it do that is so special?”

”To be honest, I’ve never seen him do a damn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner.”

RAJNI N BIRDS

THE MOST NEGLECTED FACT OF THE ENTIRE DECADE!!!!
Once a farmer replaces scare crow in the farm with Rajnikant’s statue…
..And Birds returned grains they took last year as well

FLYING TURTLE

A tiny turtle began to climb a tree very slowly. Three hours later, it reached the top, climbed on to an outside branch, jumped into the air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground.

Saved by its shell, the tiny turtle started to climb the tree again. Four hours later, it reached the top, climbed on to a branch, jumped into the air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground.

Undaunted, the tiny turtle tried again. Four hours later, it reached the top, climbed to a branch, jumped into the air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground.

Undaunted, the tiny turtle tried again. This time it took five hours to climb to the top of the tree. Once there, it stumbled on to an outside branch, jumped into the air waving its front legs and crashed to the ground. As the tiny turtle dusted itself down for yet another laborious ascent of the tree, two birds were watching from above.

The female bird turned to the male and said, ”Darling, don’t you think it’s time we told him he’s adopted?”

SLIPPING LION

Santa came back from a safari in Africa. Upon arrival, he went to his friend Banta, and told him of his adventures.

“I was out in the jungle,” he said, “when all of a sudden I heard a noise in the bush behind me. Looking back, I saw a huge lion, licking his chops, and smiling at me. The lion started coming my way and I started running, with the lion not far behind. When the lion was almost at my neck, he suddenly slipped, and I got ahead a bit.

“The lion started gaining on me, and as he got closer, once again he slipped. I happened to see a house not far away, and made towards it.

As I got close to the house, the lion was almost on top of me, when he slipped for a third time. With the very last bit of strength, I ran into the house and closed the door in the lion’s face.”

“Wow! That’s some sorry,” said Banta. “If I’d been in that situation, I would have shit my pants.”

“Well, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE LION KEPT SLIPPING ON…???”