Author Archives: Admin - Page 6

MECHANIC AND DOCTOR

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?”

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix ’em, put ’em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic…
“Try doing it with the engine running.”

Read more: http://www.ajokeaday.com/Clasificacion.asp?ID=22#ixzz2XVsmdHF1

BLIND GOLFERS

A priest, a doctor and a lawyer were playing golf together one morning, but were stuck behind a particularly slow group. All three were complaining about how long the group were taking on each hole. Finally they spotted the green keeper, so they decided to have a word with him.

“That’s a group of blind firefighters,” explained the green keeper. “They lost their sight while saving our clubhouse last year. So we let them play here any time free of charge.”

The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I’ll say a special prayer for them tonight.”

The doctor said, “That’s a good idea. And I’m going to consult all my textbooks to see if there isn’t anything that can be done for them.”

The lawyer said, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”

CHINESE JEWS

Smith and Jones were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.

“Smith,” asked Jones, “are there any Jews in China?”

“I don’t know,” Smith replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”

When the waiter came by, Jones asked him, “Are there any Chinese Jews?”

Waiter: “No Chinese Jews, Sir.”

“Are you really sure?” Jones asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.”

The waiter replied exasperated, “We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews.”

OLD AGE ROMANCE

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

She said, “You use to hold my hand when we were courting.”

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, “Then you used to kiss me.”

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said, “Then you use to bite my neck.”

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

“Where are you going ?” she asked.

“To get my teeth!”

NAMES

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them.”
The woman thinks to herself, “Oh no, not my brother — he’s an idiot!” Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, “Well, what’s the girl’s name?”
“Denise,” the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, “Wow, that’s not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!” Then she asks the doctor, “What’s the boy’s name?”
The doctor replies, DeNephew.

Read more: http://www.ajokeaday.com/Clasificacion.asp?ID=22#ixzz2XONSYjzJ

INSTANT DRY

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary’s heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell Mary the news he said, “Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Mary replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry

Read more: http://www.ajokeaday.com/Clasificacion.asp?ID=22#ixzz2XON8K67z