Hu Ha Hi

At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.
The judge said, “State your name, occupation, and the charge.”
The defendant said, “I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with
battery.”
The judge winced and said, “Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!”

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How many can you afford?

A person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he
have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that he
wouldn’t make it through the night. So the person calls for his lawyer and
asks him to come and sit by his bed. Right before the person dies, the
lawyer asks him why did he want him next to him. The dying person replied,
“When Jesus died, he had a thief next to him and I want to go the same
way.”

In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly
started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the
man in front turned and snarled, “Just what the hell you are doing?”

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Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the
court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor,
“You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the
best legal advice you can.”

After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked
where the defendant had gone, Taylor replied, “You asked me to give him
good advice. I found out that he was guilty as hell, so I told him to
split.”