Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died.

“You know, it’s not your fault that the dog died. He’s probably up in
heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.”
Susie, still crying, said “What would God want with a dead dog?”

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Boy: Good, cause I didn’t do my homework!

A young boy, about eight years old, walks into the local
grocery store and picks our a huge box of laundry detergent.
The grocer walked over, and trying to be friendly,
asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
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To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells
her it’ll make her fat. “I won’t do it any more, Mom,” says the daughter.
Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man.

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A kid at a sleep-away camp wrote home,
“Please send me some food. All they serve here are meals.”